A Secular Sabbath in Jerusalem

Quiet.

The near-silence that pervades Jerusalem from Friday to Saturday nights is an experience that we all share here, regardless of religion or religious observance. This is when most of the city sleeps. Buses and trains stop. Almost every store, restaurant, bar, and cafe shuts its doors.

But that's where shared experiences often end. I recently saw post in one of the Jerusalem Facebook groups, asking how to get through Shabbat here if you're mostly secular, and why a non-Orthodox person would choose to live here.

This is no small question. Some people responded that they enjoy the weekly quiet and having one day when they're not expected to do work, or answer work emails. Others, like myself, are not so sure they could stay long-term in a place like Jerusalem.

If you do choose to live here, and you're not an Orthodox Jew, you must pick your neighborhood carefully. Some places, like Hillel Street, parts of the Old City, and a small segment of Jaffa host places that stay open on Shabbat.

There's the Aroma Cafe where I'm sitting, drinking hot chocolate and writing this blogpost (on Shabbat).

There's a burger joint, a Jachnun, and a pizzeria that stays open late -- likely because you need to be drunk to enjoy their pizza.

The one club in the city, the Toy, is also open. It's perfect for when you want to dance and come home with your clothes reeking for days like an ashtray. Even the bartenders there smoke. I'm pretty sure it's a fire hazard. I recommend you go to the late-night pizzeria on your way home.

People with cars often leave to go hiking and camping in the countryside. If you want to take any Shabbat trip here without a car, you need to plan ahead and stay elsewhere overnight. For a country seemingly built on winging it and spontaneity, this is a surprisingly rigid fact of life.

And when all else fails, you take Shabbas walks. This is another experience that folks around the city share. You walk aimlessly, preferably with friends or family, often through parks because stores aren't open, anyway.

Saturdays are when parks come alive here. Jerusalem's "Central Park," Gan Sacher, is teaming with people resting on blankets, playing pickup games of volleyball and soccer, trying their hands at partner yoga and tightrope walking. The new playground swarms with children from around the city, some of whom walked with their parents for an hour to get there. On Shabbat, you walk a lot.

Many secular people in Jerusalem treat Shabbat like a spiritual renewal unlinked to Judaism. They also play in the parks. They also make a point of spending time with their families and friends.

The real challenge happens when you're secular -- or not Orthodox -- and you're here without family. Like me. Ironically, in some ways, it makes me connect more with Judaism because I need that sense of belonging and structure.

Also, if you can't beat them, join them.

And that's why some of us participate in Shabbat dinners with strangers. At first, you might feel like an ox in a China shop. There is a specific flow to an Orthodox Shabbat that you need to get used to.

The candle lighting and blessing, that must happen at a precise time because you're not allowed to create a flame during Shabbat itself.

If you're male, you'll attend a Kabbalat Shabbat (Shabbat service) either at a synagogue or with a minyan of at least nine other men. Women are also allowed to attend synagogue, though it's not required and often women skip it.

Blessing over wine or grape juice.

Ritual hand washing (you pour the water two times over your dominant hand, then two times over your other hand, and say the blessing. Members of the Chabad movement do three pours per hand).

And then you stay silent -- are you detecting a theme? -- until the head of the table passes you challah bread and you take your first bite.

You're then served a feast. A first course of bread, dips, salads, and fish. A main course of chicken and red meat, with a carb and some veggies. Then comes the dessert course.

And when you finish, you bench, meaning you say the after-dinner blessings.

If you're really into it, there are also Shabbat lunches to attend. They're very similar and you'll likely eat a special beef stew called cholent.

I've learned that in Israel, I'm labeled as Mazorti -- fully engaged with Judaism but not Orthodox. So for me, these dinners are bitter sweet, because I miss my synagogue back home (where services are in English!) and hosting and attending Shabbat dinners with long-time friends. There is something very special, I think, about loved ones coming together from across your city or even metro region -- by bus, train, or whatever else -- to share a meal you thoughtfully prepared.

(I guess the title of this post should've been "A Secular or Mazorti Sabbath in Jerusalem," but it just doesn't have the same ring).

And so, a Shabbat in this holy city, for many people, is a time when you have one foot in the spiritual and one in the pragmatic and tangible. So many paths lay in front of you every week, but none feels wholly satisfying. To me, each Shabbat here is a time when I actively choose who I am for the day and for the week.

It's a more difficult way to live. But if you choose for it to be meaningful nonetheless, it will be.