Unfiltered: Traveling Solo as a Woman

I'm standing alone in Monaco, lost, scared, crying into my phone while my mom -- who is in America -- listens helplessly on the other end.

It was 2013. Back then, phone data didn't work in other countries. There was no Google maps, no Uber.

I marked myself as a tourist wherever I went. My face was forever obscured by large paper maps, I walked in flip flops because I discovered it was too hot in most places for sneakers and I needed to be able to walk a lot. My habits were aggressively American, and I didn't even bother to pack phrase books despite only knowing English and (poor) Spanish.

I would be traversing Europe for nearly three months like this.

I've been on my own for less than a week and decide to travel from Nice to Monaco by train. Daringly, I don't bring a map or even a train schedule. The first hiccup is when I miss Monaco by multiple train stops. The station names are in Italian. To this day I think I may have accidentally crossed the border.

And I'm starving. I'm 21 and on a shoestring budget, and food is expensive. In Monaco especially I experience sticker shock, so when I get there I make do with gelato.

Eventually, I find my way. I walk around, look at some landmarks, gamble an entire $5 at the famous Monaco casino. I stop crying. I am alive and okay.

Does it look obvious that I'm lost?

This was my official debut into solo travel.

I tell everyone -- especially women -- that it's crucial to do a solo international trip at least once in your life. Why?

I could talk for hours about the amount you learn, the skills and independence you gain. But to be honest, one of the reasons I still travel solo is because, for that brief period, I'm in charge.

I can stay in whatever accommodation I please, eat at any restaurant (I'm an adventurous foodie so that's crucial). I can decide that tomorrow, I'll take a bus from the Netherlands to Belgium and book a hostel on the spot (true story). I can redo my entire itinerary to fit in over a week in Austria (I highly recommend Vienna and Salzburg). I can decide to join strangers last minute on their adventures to national parks in Germany, a concert on the French Riviera, a "five story" club in Prague.

On the Sound of Music Tour, Austria

And as women, we almost never have complete freedom over our destinies, where we go, what we do. Unfortunately, in most cultures, we're not taught to be that independent. Traveling alone gives us that freedom, and shows us that we don't need to play a supporting role in our own lives.

But I also want to note that traveling solo, especially as a woman, is hard.

I hear so many travelers try to sugarcoat it, read so many travel blogs that claim it's easy.

Solo travel is the most challenging way to move about the world. You'll cry, you might get things stolen, you'll get lost. Unfortunately you'll encounter a couple of creeps. Depending on how long you're traveling, you'll end up with one or two accommodations that are so bad you need to leave.

(*Cough, cough Paris*) (*cough, cough black mold*).

Solo travel is wonderful and everyone should do it anyway.

Cliffs of Moher, Ireland

I still remember staying in Galway with someone I'd met in a hostel in Munich. By this time, my iPhone (with many unsaved pictures), a credit card, cash, and even a quick dry towel had been stolen. All I had was a burner phone that constantly needed to be topped up via a website (I had no laptop and no internet).

I get a text from someone I'd met through my new friend the night before, asking me on a date. I am not about to say no to this man with an Irish accent, so I take my burner phone and start to text him back.

As you've probably guessed, my phone card needs to be topped up, and I can't send a response. I don't remember why, but I needed to get the sim card out to even have a chance of responding and I could not open the phone.

Keep in mind, I'm 21. I must solve this problem. I start throwing the phone at the floor. I throw it at the wall. It doesn't open. I'm screaming. How am I ever going to get this phone to work again and go on a date?

And then I start laughing. Towards the beginning of the trip, I joked with myself that everything would be okay as long as I could get to Heathrow -- my final destination from which I was flying home -- with my passport.

My smart phone is gone. My credit card is gone. My bank account is empty. My new suitcase that I bought in a fit of desperation in Rome is ripped. I don't even have a quick dry towel anymore. And you can almost see my bones through my skin because food is so expensive and, despite being a 5'3" woman, I generally need to eat like a six-foot tall man to feel full.

It's amazing. It's hilarious. I'm screaming, crying, and laughing into a void while I wait for my new friend to return from work. His poor dog definitely thinks I'm insane. Arguably, I am.

How does this story end? I finally text the man with the Irish accent the next day. We go on a date that goes nowhere. I continue through Ireland, am completely broke by the time I get to London so my parents send me enough money so I don't starve. So I have tea and Indian food, go to the Globe Theater with a rush ticket, visit every museum and attraction I can fit into five days that is reasonably priced.

No good pictures of me in London because I got sick. But look, a bridge!

And I finally get to Heathrow airport -- in debt, skinny, with a burner phone and a ripped suitcase that's so full of trash and random currency that airport security decides to check it by hand.

The passport I used for that trip finally expired, in my house, during the pandemic in 2020. It was the first passport I ever had. I'm now on my second, and I still sometimes travel solo (but nowadays it goes much more smoothly).

For anyone else who has also traveled solo: What was it like? Was it smooth sailing or did you also experience hiccups?